REFLECTION ON BRIDGING

On Sunday morning at the CUC Symposium on Spiritual Leadership (May 20, 2012), our minister, Rev. Diane Rollert, was one of our service leaders, and she orchestrated a wonderful Bridging ceremony as a part of our very multigenerational weekend.  This special UU ritual is a time for aging-out Junior or Senior youth to go through a series of two person arches, formed by the older youth or Young Adults who welcome them to the next stage of their lives. Usually the “bridge’ consists of perhaps five, ten or fifteen pairs, arms upraised, and after the Bridgers traverse this passageway, accompanied by a song or music, there are lots of hugs and smiles from the bridge builders for those who passed under their arms.

For our special Symposium bridge, however, there were many more bodies to build with, and Diane also added further dimensions.  FIrst, she asked people to wait til after the service for congratulations and hugs, so that bridgers could focus on their transition more strongly,  and we all could beam our support to them.  Then she called up all the youth and young adults who were not at the age-end of a stage in their lives, therefore not bridging, to come form a bridge line down the middle of our temporary sanctuary -- I am guessing there were 50 or 60 youth and young adults altogether (it was a loooong bridge!).  She directed them to stay standing with arms extended for far more bridgers than most of us had ever thought of, and it was a very moving rite of passage!

After the Junior and Senior youth bridged, those circa-35-year-olds ready to move on into “adulthood beyond” were called to go through, while the congregation kept singing Tony Turner’s wonderful song --the one we will be singing during the service on Sunday, May 27th -- “Circle of Song.”  

Next lay leaders who were beginning or ending a role in their congregations were invited to bridge; then staff of all our congregations and of the CUC itself, who are moving to some new role or place, passed through the long bridging line.  (There was heartache for the three CUC employees whose positions have had to be cut due to financial constraints).  

FInally, anyone in the entire room who felt they were changing in some way they wanted to mark (in our world of constant change), was invited forward.  Suddenly I found myself on my feet, in the line of bridgers, and I walked under/through all those caring arms with tears streaming down my face, because I realized I am personally experiencing my own sense of moving to a new stage of being:  I am learning to make better boundaries and say a firmer “yes” or “no” in my life than ever before, and it is h-a-a-a-r-r-d.  And so I bridged, and felt symbolically better --plus sensed so much support surrounding me!

Life does have a way of returning to normal after such moments of insight or epiphany as this was, and our sense of transformation often dulls, needs to be renewed again, but the ceremonial way in which I bridged, along with many others, was a spiritual moment I will treasure.  My new boundary-defining practice may sometimes feel just ordinary, but the community was my witness, and we shared an extra-ordinary process.

In terms of Bridging at our own congregation, we have plenty of Young Adult attenders, and could encourage them have a yearly Bridging, but I --sadly, as I would love to cover the whole cradle to sage spectrum -- am not a Director of Lifespan Learning, but only of the nursery, children and youth programs that comprise “religious education” at present at UCM.  However, I am longing for more critical mass in our youth group so that there could be enough bodies to actually hold such a ceremony with them.  It’s a powerful tool and one that is a part of many UU youths’ lives -- I want it to be so for our youth, too!

What we long for, for our children's inner well being

In our UCM Parents Group which met on March 14th (after a brief RE Committee meeting and therefore had a few more members), we were a range of ages and stages of parenting, from grandmother to busy parent of a preschooler. We took time to share what we each long/longed for, for our children and their sense of self, their sense of identity, what we wanted for their spiritual nurture....

I believe we all found this a moving and powerful exercise, even though brief, and thus I wanted to open it out to all our UCM parents to consider. What would you say for the precious young people in your own lives? Without revealing personal names and details, here's a series of tastes of what we told one another we hoped for, that evening over our cups of tea:

--That an 11 year old's abundance of creativity not get quashed.

--That a young man at 18, the edge of adulthood, hold onto the deep sense of his goodness and ability to make a difference in the world; may he always keep the deep conviction that his life will make a difference.

--For an active four and a half year old: that whatever he ends up doing, the wish that when he looks back he is happy with the path he took, that he not feel locked in, that he knows he can change

--For my pre-schooler: that he mostly meets kindness in the world, because he is a quirky child, needs kind and positive and supporting people

--For all my family: that they always have faith in themselves and the integrity to be who they really are, not doing things just for other people. Yet at the same time to know the joy of putting others first, that paradox.

--For my children to keep the core spirituality they "came" with, based on a sense of wonder and connection. For them to feel at home in the world, to have that profound sense they belong in the world, see the value of others and to value the world.

--That my 11 year old be free to make choices, not have to fit into molds, can be herself. that she feel good to be who she is

--That my 8 year old have the unstructured days she needs "to do her own thing," to have more time to wander around nude and do nothing!

The Pleasures of Parenting, long term . . .

From the clippings so often left in my mailbox, I know that many Unitarian Church of Montreal attenders know my son Richard Reed is a creative musician and composer based here in Montreal. In fact when I was first hired as your Director of Religious Ed in 2008, I remember being told some of the Nursery caregivers who were moving on to other jobs almost changed their plans, they were such huge Arcade Fire fans! Of course I have appreciated your comments and congrats over the past few years, but now I want to draw your attention to my other creative adult child, Richard’s older sister Evalyn, who is also a graduate of Concordia, but based in Toronto. She holds a drama degree and performs as an actor, singer songwriter, spoken word artist, or sometimes a combination of all three.

You can learn a lot about Evalyn’s many artistic achievements at www.evalynparry.com, and this spring you can see her in person at three different venues here in Montreal, which I am very excited to tell you about!

1. Her amazing theatrical creation, “SPIN” is an “interdisciplinary performance which celebrates The Bicycle as Muse, Musical Instrument, and Agent of Social Change.” She will be presenting it as part of the Edgy Women Festival on March 22nd at the Sala Rossa. Check www.edgywomen.ca for details. It says:

Innovative Toronto artist Evalyn Parry takes her audience on a unique theatrical and musical journey in her tour-de-force performance celebrating the Bicycle. Inspired by the first woman to ride around the world on a bicycle in 1894, Parry weaves a web of stories that deftly travel from 19th century women’s emancipation to 21st century consumer culture, from the political to the personal.

March 22nd 2012 at 8 p.m. (doors at 7:30 p.m.)

Price : $15 pre-sale, students/$20 regular

Venue: Sala Rossa (4848 St-Laurent)

Duration: 1 h 30

2. Evalyn will also be performing a concert of mostly other material, on Friday March 23rd --at Shaika Cafe on Sherbrooke; please contact me for further details.

3. Then, on Saturday, May 5, Evalyn will be singing at the Petit Campus (57 Prince-Arthur East, 8 pm), along with Theresa Doyle Hannam from P.E.I., as a part of the Wintergreen Concert series promoted by Hello Darlin’ productions.

I really hope to see you at any or all of these fun events! (If you catch me, I also will be happy to tell you about either of my children’s creative childhood exploits, as proud parents are wont to do!)

Forty Acts for sacred water for Earth Day

We are celebrating Earth Day differently this year at UCM: our spring multigen will be held on May Day because the calendar has given us the gift of May First on a Sunday, but I want to share a way you can affirm the sacred waters that surround us here on the island of Montreal and in this water-blessed country. For Earth Day 2011, the UU Ministry for Earth has challenged congregations to celebrate the sacred waters that sustain us, and to commit to 40 days of actions that will make our world more just.
Last week on April 17th , the kick-off Sunday for those 40 days, I brought a tray of some seemingly disparate objects to show the children during Time for All Ages, asking “What do a brick, a toothbrush, and a plastic and metal water bottle all have in common?” The children correctly guessed “water,” (though not everyone understood at first that the brick was to put in a toilet tank!) and we talked about the water saving practices each represented: I went on to encourage them to see how quickly they could count up their own 40 water-saving acts.
Question for parents and other adults: do YOU turn off the water while brushing your teeth or applying shampoo in the shower? Remember that “Water is a human right, not a luxury” (from my daughter Evalyn Parry’s “Bottle This!” –you can listen to it on her website, www.evalynparry.com). Check out http://uuministryforearth.org/ for more information.

Talking to children about Easter as Unitarian Universalists

Dear RE families and helpers,
We will be having a Spirit Play lesson this Sunday about the story of Easter, told through a set of 12 props placed inside hollow plastic eggs, and making a big connection to the cycle of life-death-rebirth, and we will be sharing several Children's Bibles plus a great little UU book called Meet Jesus, all of which can be borrowed for the following week.

In case you have been thinking about talking to your own or others' children about Easter as UUs, here's a wonderful short spiel from a DRE in Houston, TX, who has saved me the time to write something similar --enjoy!
Have you wondered what to tell your children about the holiday we celebrate
this Sunday? If you are a Christian UU, celebrate Jesus’ resurrection
joyfully. If the story of Jesus’ resurrection has become slightly
problematic for you, in that you may have a more symbolic understanding than
that he rose from the dead in a literal sense, know that you are not alone
and share your sense of wondering with your children.
Then again, perhaps you will find something more helpful in what Michelle
Richards wrote in her parenting blog on April 18. Take a look at
http://blogs.uuworld.org/parenting/
Perhaps you will have to admit to your children that this is a mystery; that
people have been trying to make sense of life and death for a very long
time. Tell them that Easter is about life: about life coming from eggs, from
seeds, from mommies and daddies, and in all sorts of stories. Tell them
that mystery is exciting; that what they feel in their hearts is precious;
that what they think is important and that they can think and feel about
life and be glad.

First I saw snowdrops, then this afternoon, crocuses!

By the time you are reading this, I believe the weather is going to be delightfully warmer than when I was writing this on Wednesday. I have been thinking about many aspects of spring this week, as I work with several volunteers on scripts and story boxes for seasonal Spirit Play lessons, one about May Day and Pagan or Wiccan beliefs; one about the Easter story. That thinking brought to mind some lovely lines of a Rilke poem to share with you: [from “Threshold of Spring”] Harshness gone. All at once Caring spreads over The naked gray of the meadows… May your personal “meadows” feel the warmth of caring –-and of the burgeoning season— this week. I am so grateful for the warmth of this congregation and the many caring hands and hearts that help in Religious Education!

French Religious Education Program A brief overview and request for UCM families’ input

This is the introductory letter from the questionnaire I sent out to all Religious Education families and RE leaders and helpers as of 3/23/11. If you would like to complete a copy of the extended questionnaire, please contact my office and we will send you one: dre@ucmtl.ca

The French RE programme is nearing the end of its third year as an integral part of the Religious Education programme at UCM. Lessons have been offered six times a year. The first year, the curriculum was centered around the seven UU principles. For last year and this current RE year, we have been exploring First Nations culture and spirituality.

Originally, the French RE project, which has now created the first French UU RE curricula ever in the world, was started by the Francophone Group and the MUUQ (Mouvement unitarien universaliste au Québec). Its purpose was to attract more francophone families to the UCM, as well as to UUism in general, internationally. In order to have children pilot the lessons, the curriculum was integrated into our RE programme here at UCM.

While our children certainly can benefit from a linguistically and culturally enriched RE programme, with the addition of French lessons created with a francophone audience in mind, the original purpose of the project should be kept in mind. There are several questions to consider when evaluating this programme, such as:

Do we want our children to benefit from an enriched programme, linguistically and culturally speaking—specifically focussing on that of the larger community we are a part of here in Quebec?

Do we feel that this is a way we can participate in outreach, as a member of the UU community?

Do we feel that our children are benefitting from this particular programme, as it stands?

We have prepared the following pages of further questions for which we would love your detailed response, but we would appreciate any of your thoughts on these matters. Please take some time to go over the following questions (or those that feel relevant to you) with your children, and return the questionnaire to us (either by email or paper copy). Some of these issues will come up at the March 27^th Conversation with our Minister and Director of RE –we hope to see you there!

We thank you most sincerely for your input in these matters!

The RE and Francophone Committees